Yeah, you. The living person.
We gotta talk.
No, it’s not about the zombie erotica. That’s … we’ll just leave that alone.
Today, I want to talk about stereotypes.
I don’t need to tell you that stereotypes hurt. Specifically, they hurt me. Because of stereotypes, I get shot at.
Of course, most people shooting don’t expect me to be able to dodge, because one of the most common zombie stereotypes is that zombies are slow. And stupid.
I’m going to blame a certain “George A.” for this one. I think zombies were so awesome, that making us smart would just make humans feel like crap. The slowness isn’t always there, though. Those rage dudes in 28 Days Later wrecked the humans like a freight train. I guess Georgie also wrote smart zombies in Land of the Dead. My creator is writing my encounter with other smart zombies in my next adventure, so stay tuned.
Also, I’m not always hungry. That’s stupid. When I see a human, the first thing I think is “run like the dickens and do not get shot”, not “Mmmm, tasty.”
But you guys assume I’m always hungry. Me and my other zombie pals. Don’t even think to try live and let live. You living folk just let your stereotypes run your every interaction.
That’s gotta stop. Get to know me. I’m nice. Mostly. Lucky isn’t, though. But you don’t see him getting shot at…